tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
