Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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