When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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