Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
