Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
