just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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