Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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