Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
