why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
