he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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