you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
