The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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