im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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