I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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