so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
