I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
