Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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