google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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