1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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