Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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