just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
