Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
