put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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