Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize