You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
