i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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