at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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