Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
