Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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