no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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