I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
