just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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