Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
