So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Rumble strips road head = magical
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
