You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
