Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
