You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
