So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
