I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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