I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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