She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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