It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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