So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
