So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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