yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
