Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
