i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
