your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize