Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
