i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
