I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
