I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
