so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
