Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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