Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the day after is always just damage control
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize