put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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