My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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