IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
