How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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