help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
someone owes me an orgasm
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
