hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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