just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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