even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
