if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
