mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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