Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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