Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
